Unanswered Goodbyes
by precious-passenger
Summary: Blaine is starting to notice some strange behaviors in Kurt, the tenseness, sudden flinching and shutting off. And why does it seem that he's surgically attached to his phone? A different take on "dance with somebody". Starts after "On My Way". Warnings : suicide mention, mentions of self-harm, depressing thoughts, slight bullying. Continued in Dreams Undreamt.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Unanswered Goodbyes

Summary: Blaine is starting to notice some strange behaviors in Kurt, the tenseness, sudden flinching and shutting off. And why does it seem that he's surgically attached to his phone? A different take on "dance with somebody". Starts after "On My Way". Warnings : suicide mention, mentions of self-harm, depressing thoughts, slight bullying.

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A/N: It's an interesting thing, one's brain. It's even more interesting how your view on everything changes once you succumb to your muse. This idea hit me right after finishing _Choose Your Family_. Go check it out in the meantime.

So this is starts from "On My Way" aka the only glee episode I can't re-watch. But I'd like to make a few changes in the canon. The Klaine "Dance with somebody" argument happened a short while after it. Although quite different from how it happens on the show.

Also Kurt did visit Karofsky in the hospital, though not through "god squad", because I refuse to believe that the only ones who were there for him at that time were them.

Read the summary for warnings on future chapters. I've spoiled some parts in there, made it M rated although I can promise you nothing is graphical here. I just did it to be safe rather than sorry. That's all that came to my mind.

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

Warning: Suicide attempt.

A week after Karofsky's suicide attempt, it was established that he transferred to another school and was going through therapy. The whole school seemed to have moved on and went back to their usual busy routine. The glee club and those he bullied mercilessly while he was in McKinley High were too quick to let it all go, uncomfortable to see that the monster that tormented them actually was capable of human emotions. In short, it was almost as if nothing tragic had happened.

Blaine was also one of those people. Sure, his heart ached for Karofsky but he couldn't help but think back to last year, when he first met Kurt, the hurt and how lost and out of place he looked when he saw him singing and dancing to "Teenage Dream". The almost dreamy look in his face and wide expressive eyes who clearly thought _is this really happening?_ as he took in the friendly atmosphere in Dalton. Hell, he even began crying in front of three strangers when they began talking to him civilly and that's not something Kurt Hummel did.

And it was all because of that boy whose news of suicide as well as his sexual preference has been a great shock to the student body. He thought about the day he and Kurt went to the hospital Karofsky was admitted. Kurt hadn't allowed Blaine to come inside to visit. Now Blaine knew how right that decision was, because all he could feel in that moment was a strange and sick sort of satisfaction, also anger, lots and lots of anger. He would've just shook the jock over and over again and said, no _screamed_ at him "Do you see now what you did to this boy for two whole years?"

The anger had left his body soon enough and guilt replaced satisfaction. But one thing never changed. It was the feeling of _dread._ What if Kurt hadn't been so strong dealing with his bullies? What if they hadn't met and Kurt had felt so alone that…

What if the Warblers never tied at Sectionals and won Regionals because the New Directions had lost one pair of blue eyes and the fabulous personality that was Kurt.

At those moments Blaine would cling to him as if to reassure himself that Kurt was there, with him. That his nightmares were just that… nightmares.

He shared those thoughts with Kurt one night after a particularly gloomy session of watching Rent. Kurt had comforted him, hugged him close and kissed him over and over again until he felt nothing but bliss. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere" he would whisper to him, and god, how did he know that this was just what he needed to hear?

The bell snapped him out of his daydreams. He tried to wound his arm around Kurt's waist as they walked in hallway to their next class. He held back a sigh as Kurt pulled back immediately, almost a reflex. Although none of them were avid fans of public display of affection, especially in this homophobic hell-hole, he couldn't ignore the fact that they had been drifting apart. Kurt wasn't even talking to him about New York anymore and when he did, the spark had gone out of his eyes.

"What's going on with you, Kurt?" Blaine thought desperately, and they continued walking an arm's distance apart to History class. Almost like two strangers.

A/N: Again, I can't write all of it in one chapter, even though it is basically a one-shot. So I'm putting a small part to see the reactions before continuing. This is the stage where your reviews are most important and play a great role in improving the story. So I'm going to wait to hear some feedbacks before posting the next chapter.

On a side note, Rent is depressing, how do people watch it more than once?! And you can't answer with Idina Menzel because it's my answer.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I almost feel sorry for Kurt. He's becoming my personal punching bag. I'm starting to realize that I'm putting all the hurt I've experienced and couldn't process it for myself in words in him.

Although you have to admit the boy practically screams "Angst me!" So I don't feel that guilty. Now, there you go . Second chapter is ready.

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Warning: None for this chapter.

_Previously on Unanswered Goodbyes:_

"_What's going on with you, Kurt?" Blaine thought desperately and they continued walking an arm's distance apart to History class. Almost like two strangers._

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

* * *

As Blaine finished his rendition of P!nk's "Get the Party Started" he glanced at his boyfriend and was disappointed as his eyes met with the cold and distant ones sitting there, clapping politely with the rest of the club.

In the past weeks, Kurt had become worse and it was driving Blaine insane. There wasn't a single crack in the armor he'd put up for everybody but he had started to shut off, keeping the happy and cheerful appearance, laughing when he was supposed to, but Blaine knew him better than that, and then he started to notice some things which appeared that no one else was able to see.

Kurt was significantly losing weight. He was barely eating anything and in the few times when they were eating together, he had given in to Blaine's pleas and ate something, it had been the most smallest amount and Blaine had been pretty sure that sometimes, more often lately, he heard sounds of him throwing up in the bathroom afterwards. But when he confronted him, he brushed it off with different excuses each time.

There were other things too. How Kurt would demand he'd call him as soon as he reached home and if sometimes he wouldn't call right away, his voice on the phone sounded pained and so small. How sometimes he would suddenly tense up and become pale at most random times. How he would complain about it being cold and shiver when the weather was still moderately warm. Blaine would try to subtly touch his hand when he said it but his temperature seemed normal, then he'd see Kurt turning away to hide his teeth clattering.

And there was this one time when he couldn't find his phone in the room which resulted in a full-blown panic mode and appearance of a very scary Kurt, until he found it in his own pocket.

He'd worry a lot about silly little details like the color coordination of lunch contents, but never about the main thing, himself.

Blaine couldn't stand seeing all this and not doing anything. He'd talked to Ms. Pillsbury about it and she offered him pamphlets about separation anxiety, explaining that most seniors experienced this kind of behavior before graduation. But Kurt wouldn't listen to him anymore and Blaine couldn't argue any further, not after the last time that they did. It was the most confusing thing Blaine had witnessed. He remembered it vividly.

_-Flashback-_

_They were in Blaine's room. They hadn't properly seen each other in a week and even at school. Lately it seemed that Kurt was avoiding him._

"_Come on, Kurt. You wouldn't talk to me. At least talk to Ms. Pillsbury. She'll know what to do. You know the last time I talked to her…"_

"_Not now, I don't have time for that." Kurt frowned, absorbed in his mobile._

"_Or your dad, or Carole. Just do something. You're scaring me , Kurt."_

"_I'm perfectly fine." He didn't even look at him in the eye._

"_No, you're not. Kurt, this isn't healthy" Blaine shouted, frustrated by how Kurt was avoiding him. Kurt flinched and looked up from his cell phone._

"_Now he's listening. Do I have to shout all the time to get your attention?" Blaine paced the room, still shouting. "All you do is type away in your phone. What do you have in there that's more important than me, huh?"_

_In his sudden surge of anger he grabbed Kurt's phone from his hands. As he began to inspect it, a sudden intake of breath from the other side of the room caught his attention._

"_Kurt?" Kurt's face was frozen in shock._

"_Kurt, honey, you alright?" Blaine soon found himself an armful of Kurt as he threw himself in his arms, mumbling strings of words and apologies that Blaine couldn't decipher._

"_I'm so sorry Blaine. I'll be better. I'll get better. Please don't leave me."_

_He could feel Kurt's heart's rapid beating in his own chest from the sheer force Kurt was holding on to him._

_They ended up on his bed, Blaine rocking Kurt gently. He wasn't surprised that after a while he heard his sleeping boyfriend's soft snores. He'd seen the dark circles under Kurt's eyes that no amount of makeup could hide. _

_-End Flashback-_

Blaine was surprised to hear a soft chuckle from his boyfriend as he approached his locker. Mr. Shuester had dedicated this week to the musical genius "Whitney Houston" and although Kurt insisted that he really didn't _get_ Whitney, Blaine had all but pushed him to the new music store that opened in Lima, refusing to come with him, hoping that some time alone with music would somehow heal the boy's soul.

"You're in a cheery mood today. Did you find a song?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm planning to sing "So Emotional" "Kurt replied distractedly, smiling at something in his phone. He shook his head as he put it in his bag and looped his arm around Blaine's, pecking his cheek. "And dedicate it to my amazing boyfriend, so all glee girls would die of jealousy."

Blaine smiled and suppressed a happy squeal.

"And why would they die?"

"Huh? What?" Kurt's expression was one of horror. His eyes looked haunted. Like he knew something extremely painful that no one else could see. But the expression was gone before Blaine finished explaining.

"You just said it now. How all glee girls would die after hearing your song…?"

Kurt's faced lit up again in the most genuine grin Blaine had seen in weeks as he sang into his ear.

"Because I get so emotional baby, every time I think of you…" Kurt winked at him mischievously and they happily went to their class, Blaine easily shrugging off Kurt's slip.

The following week was just the break Blaine needed. Kurt seemed so much happier, distracted but still so much calmer than he was in a week ago. He could only hope that his concerns had reached Kurt and he was going to work on getting better. He said that he'd read the pamphlets and would kiss him every time Blaine wanted to argue further, asking him to stop worrying. Blaine couldn't complain. He'd missed the closeness he shared with the boy too much.

Sadly, the calm and peace didn't last long.

Blaine had invited himself over to Kurt's home and they were planning to watch a TV special about Whitney Houston. They cuddled in Kurt's bed, the door wide open, Burt's orders, with an extra blanket on them, Kurt's orders.

In the middle of the program, Kurt excused himself to go get refreshments. Blaine frowned and held on tighter "warm, don't go" he muttered, already sleepy. He felt and heard Kurt's laughter beside him as he struggled to release himself from the death – grip Blaine had on his waist.

His eyes were drooping close again when he felt a buzz coming from beside him. He sat up straight, startled and found out it was Kurt's phone buzzing away, almost as if someone was calling him. "That's odd", Blaine thought. "Who'd be calling now?"

The buzzing wouldn't stop. Blaine searched the bed for phone to inform the person calling that Kurt would call them soon. He was almost sure it was Rachel. The girl didn't have a clue about the social etiquettes, like when to call people. When they were cast in the musical she'd call at the most random hours to suggest different acting choices. He heard that she and Kurt had started brain storming for their NYADA audition choices. Poor Kurt, Blaine chuckled to himself as he went to retrieve the phone from under the blanket. Only to find out that the alert wasn't for calling, they were a dozen of message alerts on Kurt's mobile screen. The nagging feeling overpowered the polite one as he unlocked the screen and that time another text popped up. _Chandler,_ it read. _Who the hell names their child Chandler?_ Blaine thought angrily and furiously tapped on the name to show the history of conversation between his boyfriend and this Chandler guy.

Holy crap! The guy had been flirting with his boyfriend and not once Kurt told him to go fuck off. On the contrary, it seemed that Kurt had been the one who egged him on. Blaine felt sick to his core.

As luck would have it, Kurt chose exactly this moment to enter the room, wearing one of Finn's hoodies that was too large for him, carrying some packs of snacks and a water bottle.

"What's this?" Blaine asked him. As Kurt's gaze spotted the phone in his hands, the smile quickly died on his lips, the little color he had draining from his face.

"Give me my phone." He whispered.

"Is this why you've been acting strange?"

"I said give me my phone" he whispered again weakly, half leaning to the door.

"Who's Chandler, Kurt?"

Blaine heard a quiet sigh from his boyfriend, and felt him deflate. His voice was stronger when he replied "Why are you going through my phone?

_So it's my fault now?_ Blaine wanted to shout. "I'm not going through your phone. It's just that it keeps buzzing. Because Chandler won't stop texting you."

He wanted to read some of the texts to Kurt just so he could understand what he was doing to him, to their relationship. But Kurt shook his head and said.

"Please, just give me my phone. There's no need to get upset"

"No need to get upset? Are you listening to yourself? This is cheating, Kurt."

"But, Sebastian…No, just… forget about it."

Kurt looked around, seeming lost.

"This is what texting is supposed to be like." Kurt whispered brokenly, pain evident in his voice.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Blaine threw his hands up in frustration. And then it suddenly dawned on him.

"You like this guy?"

Kurt stared at him, shocked. He opened his mouth and closed it for a few times until he hung his head and replied "I like the way he makes me feel… I mean…"

"Am I not enough?"

"Blaine, no, just forget about it. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, Kurt. You really think that this is nothing? God, I can't talk to you. I feel like I've taken crazy pills. I'm gonna go now."

He wanted to tell Kurt all the hurtful things that were going on his mind, he wanted to mock him for going after another guy, for not being brave, courageous enough to talk about his problems with him, but his heart was aching too much to think coherently . He had to get out of here soon before he did or said something stupid and made things worse, but then again, his mind scoffed at him _could it get any worse?_

He shook his head and softly threw the phone towards Kurt, with enough speed for him to catch it. But Kurt seemed to be in another universe. Not only he didn't catch it, he didn't even flinch as it hit his chest and slid to his foot.

Blaine stormed out of the room. Pushing roughly past a very frozen Kurt.

"Leaving so soon, Blaine?" Burt asked, looking up from the game he was watching and shocked to see Blaine's flushed face.

"I'm sorry, sir. I'm expected at home soon. Have a nice evening, sir" Blaine muttered politely as he went for the door. He hesitated on the porch, not closing the door.

"Fuck it, I'm going back" Blaine said to himself. He left Kurt's room thinking he would sing him a song tomorrow in glee club, a song that surprisingly twisted its way from their fight, but he felt too emotionally wounded for that.

He couldn't stand not knowing. Kurt downright cheated on him. He wasn't going to let him get away with it. He wanted answers, _now_.

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A/N: *Cue suspense soundtrack* so what do you think about this chapter? And what do you think happened, really? I'm dying to know your guesses.

One more thing, I spent a lot of time going through my P!nk collection to find a song that Blaine would sing at that situation. "Get the Party Started" is one of the few songs that P!nk doesn't bash some boys in it or talk about breaking up with them and it's a bit suggestive. So I'd like to think that Blaine wanted to cheer Kurt up with that song.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: How do you feel about updating twice a day? So the truth is the next chapter is really hard to write so I'm going to update all I've written so far so I can focus on it more.

I'd like to thank all of you who review , favorite and follow. You can't even imagine how every notification cheers me up. So yeah, thank you!

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Warning: Contains non-graphic self-harming. I tried to keep it to the minimum amount it was necessary but if you think it might trigger you, I'm begging you don't read this. If I found out you've ignored these warnings, I'll spam your inbox, and I'm not joking in the slightest *sticks out tongue*

_Previously on Unanswered Goodbyes:_

_He couldn't stand not knowing. Kurt downright cheated on him. He wasn't going to let him get away with it. He wanted answers, now._

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

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"Did you forget something, kid?" Burt asked with an amused smirk as Blaine pushed the door open.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir, for causing discomfort at this time. I…."

"Oh for god's sake, kiddo, stop being so damn polite. Go do your business" Burt shooed him away and Blaine offered him a weak smile, already exiting the living room.

He wasn't expecting what he saw next when he opened the door. His mind caught up with the images it was sending a moment too late and he just saw picture after picture, almost numbly.

Kurt had slid down the foot of bed, staring numbly on the floor. His phone smashed against the wall, all the snacks lying carelessly on the ground. But what was most odd in the picture was the metal object Kurt had in his hand. For a second Blaine thought Kurt had a cross in his hand and was praying. But then he saw his rolled up sleeve and the glimmer of a scissor blade.

"Kurt?"

Kurt's head snapped up and he opened his mouth but Blaine beat him to it. "What are you doing?"

Kurt looked at him for another moment before throwing his head back, laughing.

"I'm doing laundry, that's what I'm doing."

But the sound Blaine heard wasn't laughter. It was awful. It wasn't a sarcastic or mocking sound. It sounded like Kurt was trying to cry. Like he was sobbing but couldn't actually form any tears.

Blaine was still in shock. He kneeled in front of him, the boy he loved dearly more than anything in this world, and asked again "What are you doing, Kurt?"

"I don't know" Kurt whispered, the sudden hysteria dying down just as it started. Blaine tugged at the scissors, and it clinked to the floor uselessly. Blaine was relieved that there weren't any marks on Kurt's skin, just angry lines after lines of irritated skin. The blade was clean.

Kurt decided to get up and fell right back, his face going pale as sheet. "Bottle in the nightstand" he said, almost slurring.

Blaine looked around and fetched him the water bottle. Kurt drank it slowly and leaned his head to the bed. He noticed -Blaine's questioning glance and answered:

"It has sugar and salt in it."

"Why?" Blaine was beyond caring now. Caring about the words, the fight. He was surprised that he could form sentences; even if it was half whispered, one word ones.

"I can't keep anything else down."

Blaine prepared himself to ask all the questions that were crowding in his head but before he could even begin one he was interrupted by a rather loud buzz that echoed through the room.

He felt Kurt move to retrieve it and pushed him back, deciding it was best if Kurt rested for now and went to get it himself. He handed it back to Kurt, which he unlocked the screen with shaky fingers and glanced at the screen before his hand went limp.

"Shit, not again…"

As Kurt's eyes began to lose focus, Blaine picked the phone up and stared at the single sentence it showed.

"I'm thinking about it… -Dave".

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A/N: Ok, now tell me what you're thinking. No guesses? no? Please don't come close to me with anything that might be considered a weapon.

Commencing the operation: "hide from the readers".


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I don't know if it's a good sign or bad when the writer goes insane after writing a chapter. But I know that I have to write this or it won't ever leave my mind. I actually read the text of "On My Way" for this chapter to refresh my memory. It wasn't an easy thing to do. In fact it was fresh hell.

At some point the text got confusing so I had to watch the damn episode muted. Just… Chris' eyes and acting in that episode, it speaks volumes. I may actually be dead right now :)

Oh well, at least I've written myself a pretty good Requiem. So I present you the next chapter.

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Warning:Suicide attempt. Mention of depressing, suicidal thoughts. Slight Bullying. This is the chapter where shit hits the fan. So, yeah, this is as intense as it gets.

_Previously on Unanswered Goodbyes:_

_As Kurt's eyes began to lose focus, Blaine picked the phone up and stared at the single sentence it showed._

"_I'm thinking about it…-Dave"._

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

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Blaine was still trying to figure out what the text meant, and who the hell this Dave character was, when he felt Kurt move from beside him, wobbling towards bathroom, Blaine following shortly after him.

Was Kurt leaving him for not only one but two guys?

His brain short-circuited when he heard the sounds of dry-heaving. He was staring at the bathroom door, which he'd been so engrossed in his thoughts that hadn't realized it had gotten slammed into his face.

_It's Karofsky, you idiot._

He opened the door without a moment hesitation and kneeled beside Kurt in front of the toilet, gently rubbing his back.

He tried to mentally search for the glass and calculate how long he'd have to leave Kurt alone to get him some water.

"Go away" Kurt mumbled weakly.

Blaine shushed him and pushed the hair that was falling to his face back.

His mind began going through everything he'd seen today a mile per second, connecting it with all the peculiar behaviors Kurt had been having for the past month. It all made sense. Though one thought just kept nagging, _why?_

Blaine handed him the glass he'd brought and quickly filled with water from the tap, instructing him to wash his mouth, which Kurt scoffed at him and nearly rolled his eyes. Then, directed him towards the bed, covering him with blanket, the extra blanket placed on his stomach. He put the cool bottle on Kurt's forehead, acting as an icepack. He didn't want to leave him alone even for a second to go get a real one. Kurt rearranged the bottle so it was on his eyes and let out a sigh of content.

"Better?"

"Yeah, it's all right now. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Don't be silly."

Blaine paused and then shyly continued.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

Kurt sighed. "I guess it's only fair, for you, to know."

And began. "Well do you remember the day when Karofsky had just tried to take his life?"

"I do." Blaine nodded and held his hand.

Kurt smiled at him but moved his hand away.

"You remember that hiding spot we had used for making out that we abandoned because it was within an ear shot of Figgins' office?"

"Ew, don't remind me. It was pretty unappealing hearing him go on and on about how much everything costs."

"And you remember that I ditched all of my classes that day?"

"Of course I do. I was worried sick."

"Well, that's where I was."

_-Flashback-_

_The jocks were acting so much worse these last days. They waited until he was alone to strike. The shoves were harsher. _

_He woke up very quickly in the morning when he was heading to French, a foot suddenly appearing on his way, making him trip and fall face-first on the cold floor._

"_You're up next, homo"_

_They had said to him, walking all over the notes that had fallen from his bag. What was up with Azimio and his gang?_

_And now, he could see from the end of the hallway the group of jocks approaching, his flight instinct kicking in, he turned around and went to the nearest place he knew they couldn't get him. No one would beat him up under principals' office._

_He was pulling his phone out to text Blaine that he wouldn't be able to make it to class on time when he saw the message alerts. He frowned at his phone and then he became aware of noises in the background. It was Figgins talking._

"_..He still has many friends here. And my understanding is that these teen suicides...or even attempts like David's...can induce a string of copycats." _

"_It's just so senseless." That was coach Beiste. What was going on?_

"_These people can sling their hatred and their mud anonymously."_

_And Ms. Pillsbury._

_It was the strangest feeling. He felt his mind trying to deny everything, convince him he was just over thinking, trying to come up with excuses. And then Coach Sue's voice broke him out of his thoughts._

"_I could have done more. I was principal when Dave was having his trouble with Porcelain, and...I knew there was something up with that kid. I knew it."_

_Fuck, Karofsky…Dave._

_His mind just fell silent and empty. Useless. He bit down on his hand to muffle down his sobs._

_It didn't even make him feel better when he found out that his dad had found him in record time and he was in hospital, healing._

"_Guys, we were all hard on Dave. We thought he was going to hurt Kurt. I just never thought he'd hurt himself."_

_Oh, Mr. Shuester. So it wasn't just him that thought all of this was his fault, then. They were all thinking it. And they didn't even know that he had the power to help him, to pull him up. And he ignored it._

_And then he was suddenly reminded of the texts. He was shaking pretty hard and had to try a couple of times to type in his password. He went to check his unanswered messages._

_There were actually three. Two of them were pretty lengthy and the lines were blurring, mixing together, making it impossible to read. But the last one…_

"_Goodbye, Kurt. - Dave"_

_-End of Flashback-_

Blaine could only stare at him, mouth slightly open in shock, but Kurt couldn't see it.

"Do you also remember three days after that, when we visited him in the hospital?"

"I remember when _you_ visited him"

"That's right. I had to do it alone. It was my mess to fix."

_-Flashback-_

_Kurt had become a jumble of emotions. Anger, at Dave, his school, himself. And wave after wave of sadness. It was exhausting. He wasn't used to feeling this much. His usual coping technique was to brush it off. But this was a huge deal. He couldn't just brush it off._

_He had to fix this. Or at least, try his best._

_Stay strong._

_He felt Blaine's gaze on him as he hesitated in front of the door, shifting from one foot to another. He slowly pushed the door open and slid in, careful to be quiet._

"_Can I come in?"_

_Dave nodded. _

_Kurt pulled up a chair and sat down as he heard him explain that he could go home tomorrow. He couldn't faint in here no matter how dizzy felt. This wasn't about him._

"_That's great. I'm really happy that you're alive, David."_

_He said, amazed that his voice wasn't breaking._

"_I should have returned your calls."_

_Dave shook his head. "Why would you, after the way I've treated you?"_

_Kurt shrugged it off. "It's okay."_

_Dave disagreed and began recounting the events that had led to him committing suicide._

_MyFault, MyFault, MyFault, MyFault, MyFault._

_If the guy hadn't seen them in Breadsticks…_

_Somehow Kurt made himself not just run towards the door and leave this place. Somehow he found the strength to talk, too. But how, he couldn't figure it out._

"_I'm not gonna lie to you, it...it isn't gonna be easy. And there'll be some days when...life just sucks. But you're gonna get through this. 'Cause I'm gonna help you."_

"_You'd do that for me?" Dave was looking at him with so much hope and openness that just pushed him far back. He felt disconnected from his own body._

"_Of course. So would everyone else who loves you and accepts you for who you are."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"We talked some more. I must have said something comforting because I remember him laughing and looking happier, but I can't remember anything more."

"And then? What happened after that?"

"We just began texting each other a couple of times. He'd text me how his therapy was going and when stuff was becoming hard. But then..."

Kurt tried to shallow. His throat was so dry. He hugged Blaine's hand between his arms and tried again.

"He tried to kill himself again, Blaine. One of our routines was that I'd check him one more time in the night before I went to sleep and he just mentioned offhandedly that he was planning to kill himself that night and after a couple of useless texts and calls that were rejected , he just wrote "Goodbye, Kurt" and turned his phone off."

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I just drove to his school in the lunch period the next day, saw him sitting miserably in a corner and went back. I couldn't talk to him. I couldn't help him, Blaine. All I could do was nod my head to him and just escape."

Blaine felt like he was going to get sick.

"What about Chandler?"

"Gosh, he was the dorkiest dork I've ever seen. I met him at the music store and then he began complimenting me and when he asked for my number I gave it to him. I know. It was a stupid thing to do. But then, I had something to laugh, and there was a possibility each time my phone buzzed that it was just Chandler, goofing away, not Dave talking how much he wanted to die and how unbearable it was for him. and it just, it felt so good to let it go."

"This is what texting is supposed to be like." He had said. "I like the way he makes me feel". Kurt had been feeling so alone that the only happiness he found was some cheesy texts from a random stranger. And it was all Blaine's fault. He was supposed to see these things. Other half, soul mates, love of life, his head was full of those teenage-movie words but he didn't actually do a single thing. He couldn't prevent anything. He might even have made it worse. The thought troubled him deeply but strengthened his resolve to straighten everything out so much more.

"You should rest, Kurt. You had an exhausting day. Sleep, I'll wake you up in a couple of hours." Blaine lied. He wouldn't even dream of waking Kurt.

And maybe it was the feeling of a weight lifting off from his chest, or just the feeling of Blaine humming tunelessly beside him, stroking his hair that he was actually able to sleep, like, really sleep.

Blaine sat cross-legged on the bed, watching Kurt. He didn't seem at ease. He kept mumbling stuff under his breath and tossed and turned a lot and sometimes one or two teardrops would roll down his cheeks. Blaine had no idea how long this has been going on, when everything had escalated to the point when Kurt just fell apart. But he wanted to make sure that it would never happen again. Karofsky wouldn't cause him any more nightmares as far as he was concerned. Blaine needed to make some plans and now seemed the right time.

* * *

Kurt didn't know how long he had slept, so he had no idea if it was early in the morning or late at night. He felt strangely comfortable. Then he decided to get up and a fresh wave of nausea hit him. What was he thinking? Eating cafeteria food? They were the worst. He felt like throwing up before, during and after eating it. In fact he just felt like sticking his finger down his throat and make himself throw up. But he was tired of throwing up and wouldn't consider initiating it himself. It made him feel more disgusting.

He rolled to his side, he knew from experience that he should just curl into himself and wait for sleep, or most likely, dawn. And then he came face to face with a very soft, breathing blanket.

"Gaah!" came Blaine's voice. _What is Blaine doing here? _Kurt wondered to himself. He didn't have to think for long before he realized Blaine was talking to him. "Umm, Kurt? A little help would be nice."

Kurt turned on the lamp. Apparently he'd startled the boy so much that he fell right off the bed but his legs were tangled between blankets, not letting him fall completely, so he was just hanging backwards. It was the funniest thing, but Kurt couldn't laugh. What if he'd fallen face first and cracked his head. Or got a concussion? How would Kurt drive him to the hospital and what would have happened if they wouldn't get there on time? And there would be blood, So much blood. He already felt dizzy.

"Kurt? It's not that elaborate. Just pull me up please." Blaine said it loudly but casually. Like he fell off the bed on a daily basis and Kurt immediately knew he did it to keep him calm and was extremely grateful.

"Up you go!"

Blaine stretched and ran his hand through his hair once. Then immediately cheered up and pecked Kurt lightly.

"Well, that's an effective waking up method. Don't let my mom ever find out about it."

"I'm going to step out for a moment, I have to call Dave."

"What do you say that we go visit him tomorrow?"

"Well, I have to check with him. He had a quiz tomorrow so he wouldn't be able to come until…"

"It's already too late." Blaine smiled lightly at him. What he wasn't expecting was a stricken Kurt looking at him with wide eyes.

_Visit him where? As in Morgue? His Grave? How long had he slept? What? How?_

And then it hit him what Kurt had thought by this sentence.

"God, Kurt. Honey, you're a mess. Calm down. I meant to say that he'd already agreed. Look for yourself. " and showed him his phone.

"Can you meet me tomorrow in Lima Bean? -Kurt"

"Ok -Dave"

"We're ditching school tomorrow to go talk to Karo…Dave. We're going to fix everything, Kurt. I promise you, you're not alone. You won't ever feel this way again."

* * *

A/N: I decided to use flashbacks rather than Kurt actually telling everything in his own words to explain what happened, because I felt like the readers might get bored with all the talking and it would be best if there was just some action or talking happening that didn't feature our boys directly.

And I guess I kind of explained how the idea for title came.

I'm gonna preach in this note and say that don't act like the characters in the story. Don't emotionally bully people into loving and caring for you. Don't burden them when you know they can't handle it. If you need help, get it. Use people as a support but don't suffocate them.

And don't keep it all in. when you feel that something is eating you alive in a friendship, relationship or just ship, express yourself. Be your first priority.

Reviews are always appreciated, specially now.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I feel kinda strange about this chapter. I hope you like it, though. Please read the Author's note in the bottom of the page too.

* * *

Warning: I don't know. Everything that has been mentioned in previous chapter would work, I think. Bullying, Self-harming.

_Previously on Unanswered Goodbyes:_

"_We're ditching school tomorrow to go talk to Karo…Dave. We're going to fix everything, Kurt. I promise you, you're not alone. You won't ever feel this way again."_

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

* * *

Kurt pushed back from his embrace.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

Kurt glared at him.

"You went through my phone and sent a message with my name on it? Give me that."

He snatched his phone from his hands and began typing quickly.

"You safe? - Kurt"

He paced the floor frantically. "Why hasn't it delivered yet?" and yelped when his phone vibrated in his hands to show not only the deliver report but also a single "Yes" from David.

Blaine had enough of it. He caught Kurt by the hand and led him to the bed.

"Don't you realize what he's doing to you? You can't go on like this. It's really killing you and it's killing me to see you like this."

"I can't help it."

"I know. Just relax, ok? How about some musicals and cuddling, huh? That always makes everything better."

"Mamma Mia?" he looked up from under his lashes shyly.

"Mamma Mia it is."

* * *

"Where's my coffee, Blaine?"

"You're not getting any coffee. Coffee is bad for your stomach. I got you some tea."

"But I don't want tea." Kurt sulked.

"Nonsense. Now tell me, are you sure you don't want anything to eat? Cookies, candy, cheesecake? You didn't have any breakfast."

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Thanks, but I'm fine with my very strong and delicious tea that would definitely help me stay awake. And I told you, I don't want to throw up in the middle of a cafeteria, which would be in the bag if I eat anything solid."

"You sure? They have butterscotch candies too. I know those are your favorite."

"They're not, Blaine. I don't like candies. Just sit the hell down." Kurt snapped.

Blaine sat down, grumbling to himself.

"No need to be so dramatic. Tea is very delicious. However, if you want to wake up properly we could have a repeat of last night's adventures."

"Stop joking about it. You could've hit the floor and cracked your head open."

"But I didn't. I'm too short for that."

He said, chuckling to himself and looked up when he was met by silence.

"Seriously, Kurt? You're not going to laugh at a quip about my height? Now that's a first."

But Kurt wasn't paying attention to him, Blaine quickly realized, his gaze was fixed on the café's door.

There he was; the very cause of this chaos. Karofsky looked around and finally found them sitting in a corner. Blaine unconsciously stood up and placed himself between Kurt and Karofsky. Both boys raised their eyebrows at him, Kurt silently screaming at him in his head to stop, and he shrugged it off with a smile. The voice in him said sadly: _He'd done the worst damage anyway._

"Hello, David. I believe we meet again. Can I get you coffee?"

"No, I'm ok." And turned to look at Kurt. "What's _he_ doing here? You told on me to your boyfriend again, fancy?"

Kurt visibly shrank and became pale.

"Cut the bravado, Dave." Blaine said strongly, no longer pretending to be laid-back and unconcerned.

"We're here to help." Kurt stammered.

Blaine couldn't help but be reminded of last year, in the courtyard, when they'd confronted Karofsky together. When Karofsky had pushed him back to the bars and he felt panic building up in his chest, Kurt was there to drive him away. But he found no similarities between the boy in his memory and the one sitting beside him, shaking slightly.

They continued arguing with Karofsky, trying to resurface the scared little boy hiding in him with gentle words, but he strongly resisted, defending with rude comments and degrading terms.

Blaine was about to call the meeting useless and suggest they all went back. He wasn't going to leave them alone to talk, he wouldn't let him poison Kurt's mind anymore and Karofsky wasn't going to talk unless he left.

"Maybe I should be the one leaving."

Came Kurt's quiet voice. He grabbed his bag and headed to the bathroom, tears falling freely from his eyes.

Blaine mentally thanked his lucky stars that he'd searched Kurt's bag and removed any object he'd thought was dangerous, scissor, nail file and pencil sharpener. Kurt could give him hell as long as he wanted; the important thing was that he was safe.

"What's up with him?" he asked coldly.

"You. You had made him a cutter. Does that make you happy?"

That did the trick. The guarded and angry expression in David's face disappeared completely.

"What happened?"

"It doesn't matter. Just know that if you try to contact him one more time, you won't be going to a doctor only for having a screwed up head."

He saw Karofsky trying to put two and two together and his faced turned to an expression of horror.

"I believe you. I really am sorry. For everything."

For the first time, Blaine saw how messed up he really was. There were bags under his eyes and he'd visibly lost some weight. He felt bad about what he said.

"Dave, look at me. You really need to stop doing this. I know that you have problems with coming terms to all that happened and I'm so sorry you're going through all this. But you need real help. This is a huge deal. You can't just nag about how you wish you had died that day to someone you know won't be able to handle it. Especially someone you used to bully for two whole years."

"How do you know what we'd talked about?"

"I went through his phone. You didn't really try to kill yourself that night now, did you? You just wanted to see that he cared enough. So you turned off your phone."

Karofsky's face fell and he looked around guiltily.

"I…yes. I mean, Kurt really helped me, after I got out of hospital. But then I realized that I just needed him with me and I guess a part of me didn't want to get better because then Kurt wouldn't talk to me anymore."

"That's really unhealthy David."

"I know. Please don't tell him that."

"You have my word."

Blaine slid a piece of paper across the table. "This is the name and address of the therapist I went to when I had my troubles with school and coming out. He's really good."

"Thank you."

"Sebastian's coming to pick you up, ok? He's going to talk to you about some other options you have for treatment."

"You told him?"

"He wanted to come talk to you."

_-Flashback-_

"_Well, Hello mister Anderson. To what do I owe the absolute pleasure of your call? You ditched that boyfriend of yours and decided to join the fun side?"_

"_Hello Sebastian. I thought you had an epiphany and decided to be a little sensible and start acting well."_

"_I am a very good boy. I just need to be bad sometimes. Don't you need to be bad boy too, Blaine?"_

"_No Sebastian, I really don't. This is serious. Remember that time you told me you worked in a suicide prevention line a few summers back?"_

"_Well, I didn't tell you. You just snooped around and figured it out all by yourself. I really hope you had tons of fun shouting it from the rooftops…"_

"_I didn't tell anyone that your sister…"_

"_Save it. Are you here to tell me that dear old Kurt decided to do everyone a favor and starved himself and his gay face away? "_

_Sebastian's sharp tongue put the image in his head that he'd tried so hard not to imagine it after all he'd witnessed tonight. Kurt's lifeless body, just lying there on the floor. It was too much._

_Blaine swallowed heavily, fighting the tears that were sliding down._

"_Shit. Blaine. I'm so sorry. Fuck. I did it again. Oh god, It really is Kurt, isn't it? Please, Blaine, don't hang up. I'll help."_

_Blaine knew he needed to do this._

"_It's not Kurt. I need help dealing with David Karofsky. Apparently he'd stopped his therapy and relapsed. I want to know the options your suicide prevention line provides for such cases."_

_He said icily, tired of giving boy chances to redeem himself._

"_Dave? Just leave him to me."_

"_Really, Sebastian? Somehow I think he'll be better off pushed down a cliff than be left alone with your tasteless sarcasms."_

"_I'll have to inform you I'm technically qualified to take action in these situations. I'll drive him to the centre myself. Where should we meet?"_

"_Tomorrow morning in Lima Bean. You'll probably have to ditch school though"_

"_Consider it ditched."_

"_Don't make me regret trusting you again, Sebastian."_

_He warned menacingly and hung up, already feeling a headache forming. He tried to crawl back silently into bed next to Kurt, hugging him close. He kissed his neck softly and almost immediately sleep took him in._

_-End Flashback-_

Kurt shuffled his way back into the table and silently sat down. David visibly tensed and scrutinized his every move, as if seeing for the first time how nervous and tired Kurt really was. After a few beats of silence he started.

"I really want to thank you, Kurt. For everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Kurt looked up, shocked. But quickly recovered and asked.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I guess you're right. I can't keep staying this way. It's not doing any good for anyone."

As if on cue, the door opened and Sebastian entered. He nodded at the group as a greeting and turned to Dave, his voice lacking the usual mocking quality.

"You ready to go?"

Karofsky stood up and said goodbye to them. A lot was left unsaid, and it was for the best really. The little information they'd scratched up would surely haunt them for a long time.

Sebastian broke the silence.

"Well, I'd love to stay and chat but the clock's ticking. Let's go. Blaine, you know where to find me when you realized you want to be with a real boy."

And raised his eyebrow expectantly at Kurt. Blaine rolled his eyes. It has become their routine, the snark match between his boyfriend and the annoying over confident boy. But Kurt ducked his head and looked away, silent tears forming in his eyes. Sebastian's look turned puzzled and concerned and glanced at Blaine who was clearly sending "Get the fuck out of here" glares.

When they left, Blaine turned to Kurt who'd put his head on cool glass table.

"Why didn't you say something."

"Well I officially lost that right to defend my title as a boyfriend yesterday."

Blaine stared at him like he'd gone crazy.

"Kurt, what the hell are you talking about?"

"You were going to leave me yesterday. You said it yourself"

"But that was before I knew what was going on. And I said we'd talk. We didn't break up."

"I cheated on you. It's a deal breaker."

"No, you didn't."

Kurt argued back. "I did."

Blaine threw his hands up, frustrated. "So I forgive you."

"Blaine, be serious. You don't have to deal with this mess. You have to find a way out of all this; it makes sense to leave now. Please don't take pity on me or feel guilty. Just go. You've helped more than I dared to ask."

Kurt said it all in one breath, like he'd rehearsed it a million times.

"No."

Blaine shook his head.

"Stop acting like a child, Blaine. I'm…"

But Blaine couldn't listen anymore. He sealed Kurt's lips with his right there in the middle of the café. He couldn't care less about anything other than he wanted to give the whole world to see Kurt smiling again.

When they pulled apart, gasping for air, Blaine felt a strange calmness going through them.

"You said you'd never say goodbye to me, remember?"

And he whispered over and over through his tears.

"I'm here, Kurt. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

A/N: Blaine was out of control in here. I wanted to write kind and compassionate Blaine but he turned everything and acted almost possessively. He was just so angry and well for obvious reasons couldn't punch anything. I hope I did him justice.

A/N: I don't mean to imply that everyone who say that they're suicidal, are doing it for attention or love. Believe me; I know that's not the case, firsthand experience over here. But that's Karofsky's case and also the easiest one to deal with and write, not to mention the less triggering. He felt like no one loved him so he just latched on to the one thing that knew was too selfless and filled with guilt to let him go.

A/N: I really don't like Sebastian, but the weasel just looked me in the eye and said "put me in your sssssstory, I want to be a good persssssson in here. You need me to balanccccccce everything." But, I have to admit writing him was fun. If I didn't ship Klaine I'd definitely put him and Blaine in a room and have them bicker at each other until death.

Could it be that the next chapter will contain, dare I say, fluff?!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for false updating alarm. A part of the story didn't make sense and I had to rewrite it.

Let's see if I can put my five years old intact twilight-reading skills to a good use and write some romantic scenes or would it be angsty as hell! I felt like I was using the muscles I didn't know it was there.

* * *

Warning: You've survived this far. No warnings needed. You're basically untouchable by my standards. Just a tiny little gory description.

_Previously on Unanswered Goodbyes:_

_He couldn't care less about anything other than he wanted to give the whole world to see Kurt smiling again. _

_When they pulled apart, gasping for air, Blaine felt a strange calmness going through them._

"_You said you'd never say goodbye to me, remember?"_

_And he whispered over and over through his tears._

"_I'm here, Kurt. I'm not going anywhere."_

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

* * *

The ride to Kurt's home was unbearably silent. Blaine tried to turn on the radio but it felt too shrill in the silence.

Kurt immediately slid down his car, banging the door forcefully and strode towards the house. Blaine followed after him once he locked the car properly.

They regarded each other in silence. Blaine sat down on the coach while Kurt paced around the living room, gathering his belongings with a stony expression on his face.

He huffed when he took in Blaine's expression and headed to the bathroom.

He nearly lost it when he exited, only to find Blaine standing on guard in front of bathroom door. That was the last straw.

"Fuck, Blaine, stop following me around. You didn't even let me drive my own damn car, and I know you already went through my bag and stole my nail file. I'm not going to slit my wrists open whenever you're not by my side."

Both flinched at the last sentence.

"Sorry" they said at the same time.

Blaine hung his head and hold Kurt's hand softly in his own, his other hand tracing his sleeves. The hidden scar lines that were no doubt fading.

"You left me no choice, Kurt. After a month of not telling me anything I can't handle not knowing. I had to know what exactly I was dealing with, _we_ were dealing with. I'm not proud about what I did, but you left me no choice. So I'm very sorry for invading your privacy but I want you to be safe. Even if you'd hate me."

"I could never hate you." Kurt shook his head. "But how can I trust myself if you won't trust me?"

Before Blaine could answer, he took his face in his hands and kissed him lightly. He added in a tired voice "I'm heading to bed. You should go home and sleep too. I know you didn't get any last night. We'll talk tomorrow."

And left Blaine standing there, wandering in the living room. He checked the photos hanging on the wall, calculating what he should do next? His throat felt very dry, seeing photos after photos of a young and carefree Kurt left him feeling wistful.

* * *

"Dude, you came back! Can I talk to you for a second?"

Blaine looked around, startled, only to find Finn, appearing out of nowhere by the refrigerator, munching some cookies guiltily.

"Finn! What are you doing here?"

Finn looked at him like he was insane.

"This is the kitchen, dude. I'm always here. I was just hiding behind the refrigerator. I thought you were mom."

Blaine gave up trying to make sense of what he was saying.

"What? You're hiding from your mom?"

Finn shook the box he was holding with passion.

"She's hiding my cookies, man. She says it's for the guests. Can you believe that? And Kurt is not making them anymore. So I had to protect all that's left."

"You're going to protect the cookies by eating it?"

"'Course, dude. Isn't that like what a type of fish did? Eating its babies so they would be safe?"

Blaine was at loss for words.

"Anyway, did you notice Kurt acting in a strange way lately?"

Blaine became somber quickly. What had he missed again?

"What do you mean?"

Finn just shook his head, struggling how to put it in words.

"Like, you know he's not baking or cooking anything anymore. That's pretty odd. And well last week he suddenly barged in my room, said things like he couldn't stay alone in his room and wanted a distraction. And it was fine, really. It's so much more fun when he's there, hanging out. But then he began to get weird when I began bashing the head of those zombies in, tearing its guts up"

Finn imitated all the things it happened in a game in a very detailed manner, swishing his imaginary sword.

"… And all the blood was coming out of his face, so I kicked him like this … oops, that was Rachel's calendar…and threw all my grenades at him…but then Kurt went all white and mumble-y and left. So is something like, really wrong with him?"

Blaine felt a strange sort of relief when he realized that it wasn't just him that had been noticing the change in Kurt's behavior.

"It's ok, Finn. Kurt's just going through a tough time. Just be your sweet self without playing or watching any violent games or movies with him and it's going to be fine."

"Deal!" Finn exclaimed happily.

"Just…Keep an eye on him for me, Finn, ok?"

"Sure, man, only if you do the same."

Blaine didn't know whether he was going to laugh or cry.

"Always."

"You wanna play that game I told you about it with me?"

"No, thank you Finn. I'm gonna go check up on Kurt and then leave. I doubt Burt would be pleased if I over stay his welcome."

"Yeah! His face went kinda funny when you came to living room and asked permission to sleep with Kurt."

Blaine flushed a deep scarlet color as he recalled the event. He left the room quickly before Finn could embarrass him more.

He reached Kurt's room and softly knocked. When he received no answer, he gently opened the door to find Kurt sleeping on his side, his mouth partly open and breathing softly. Thanks to his unwelcome knocking, he looked like he was about to wake up soon.

Blaine looked at the peaceful look on Kurt's face and it struck him how close he'd been to losing him. He knew that they still had a long way ahead of them. They had to tell an adult, Carole would be his first choice but then again, it all depended on Kurt. And who knew if Karofsky would stay true to his word and stop emotionally abusing Kurt. There was also a chance that it was too late and Kurt would never really get better and some of the triggers he experienced would haunt him his whole life.

Blaine carefully positioned himself on bed, rolling with him gently so he was on top of Kurt, by now he knew Kurt was fully awake but enjoying the last moments of calmness only sleep would provide.

He kissed him gently, slowly, swallowing in Kurt's startled gasp. He caressed his cheeks. He wouldn't have realized it last year, but his skin was rougher, showing that the stress had taken his moisturizing routine away in the past month. His chapped lips indicating that Kurt had neglected taking care of his body, and bit on them too often that it was healthy. Just another obstacle they had to smoothen on their way. He trapped Kurt's hands to his sides and smiled as his body so painfully close to his.

"I'm so proud of you."

He uttered as Kurt opened his eyes.

"I love you so much" he replied.

And for a moment Blaine could see a twinkle of hope in his boyfriend's eyes that hadn't been there before. And for now, that twinkle was enough.

* * *

A/N: Dust in the eye! I'm going to cry my eyes out at any second now!

Next one is the last chapter I've planned to write, but who knows? Maybe I'll continue some more in this 'verse.

Hope you enjoyed the fluffy scenes. I'm going to go cuddle with my pillow now.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: What? Three updates in less than 24 hours? What's wrong with me?

So this is it guys! The final part. I don't know if I'll continue this story with some short chapters or not. I don't even know if I'll ever write again but who knows?

This story is complete unless inspiration hits yet again.

And thank you all for staying and bearing with me. I can't even find words to thank you for your kind words, and I'm supposed to be a unofficial writer of some sorts.

I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did.

I offer you the last part of this story aka a jumbled mess of English incoherencies.

* * *

Warning: Brief mention of self-harm.

Disclaimer: the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination.

* * *

He began walking around aimlessly in the mall, avoiding large crowds. Crowds always made him nervous. He still had half an hour left. Seeing designs and colors usually calmed him down somehow. But it wasn't enough at the moment.

He felt a buzz go through his pocket. He pulled up his phone and unlocked it.

"I've never loved you more. Parents are going out. Wanna come over later? X -Blaine"

He smiled and his heart began beating for a very different reason it used to whenever he got a text.

"Sure. Love you too. XX -Kurt"

* * *

"There were times in the middle of the night, usually after a round of texting with him, I got tired of it, being strong. It was too much and it made me feel pathetic. I would black out and suddenly find myself sitting on the bathroom floor, a scissor in my hand, drawing lines. Searching for something to make me calm. But I couldn't find it."

"It didn't take long that I a thought went in my head, telling me maybe I would find it if I dig the scissor deeper in my skin or stop being such a coward and use a real razor and feel some real pain."

Kurt cleared his throat and continued shakily.

"But then I'd think of my dad, my family, my… Blaine, and I knew that I couldn't actually go through it like _he_ did."

"I mean my dad doesn't even have a clue. He doesn't know a thing about all that's been going on. It wouldn't be fair to him, now that he's happy after a long time."

"And then I'd remember that time after I visited _him_ in the hospital. Blaine was so scared then and after a while I didn't know who I was reassuring that I was fine, was it only Blaine? Or me too?"

"I'd remember the look on Blaine's face when he began crying in my arms and then I'd stare at the blades for hours and think about how to fix it, fix everything. The ideas that came to my head were the opposite of helpful."

"But then I kept telling myself that it wasn't an option. And nobody could know about it; that I hated myself too much to remove everything and just give the release to me. Maybe _he_ deserved that but I didn't. "

A voice interrupted him. "Who's him, Kurt?"

The woman asked with calm and controlled tone. After a few beats of silence Kurt replied.

"Dave Karofsky"

He suddenly felt very cold. A shudder went through his body and his vision blurred. He felt a comforting hand on his knee and looked up from the tile he was staring at, his hand running through his chaotic hair for the thousandth time.

"You're doing very well, Kurt." She said.

"I'm very glad that you felt comfortable to share all of this with me. It helps me analyze everything correctly."

Kurt smiled sadly, emotionlessly.

"It was the necessary thing to do."

Then silence came, which was only briefly interrupted by the sounds of pen scratched the papers and notes shuffling.

"Our time is up. So I'll see you next week?"

Kurt just nodded his head. Her eyes became sympathetic as she began collecting the notes.

"How are you feeling now?"

He shook his head and looked straight ahead to the door, not answering, not seeing nor feeling. He shook hands with his therapist and got up.

When he reached to the door, he paused for a second and whispered unsurely, testing the word.

"Relieved, I think."

* * *

A/N: it's becoming the usual procedure now, isn't it? Mention why this story was written in the first place. But this one is dark and I wouldn't want to trouble anyone with it. It doesn't really matter anyway. All I'm gonna say is that the "On My Way" episode was that one bite that glee tried to but couldn't chew.

I suggest reading some fluffy stories now. That's what I'm planning to do, as soon as I can get rid of this damn dust that got in my eyes.

Take care,

~Anne


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: So I'd mentioned earlier that this story might extend in the future, and look at that! I was right. I didn't know how this really works. Should I post a new story labeled "drabbles about Unanswered Goodbyes" or just post one shots. I've seen people here do both. But then I got tired of thinking and just added it to the already existing one. So I believe this is a prequel.

* * *

Warnings: Highly triggering for self harm. Depressing/suicidal thoughts. Suicide attempt mention.

* * *

He doesn't know what he's dreaming about, but he knows that he is dreaming. There's no way his chest would be filled with this much calm and peace in real life. Everything is so unreal without the constant nagging there, without all the worry that had been eating him alive for a while now.

He looks around in his daze, becoming aware of his surroundings. He's slept on his desk, music softly playing his top played soundtracks. His face feels buried in layers after layers of dead skin. He's given up looking at himself in the mirror a long while ago.

Kurt rubbed his eyes and started to sit up slowly, his head spinning slightly. He tried to count in his head when was the last time he had eaten anything solid, something other than his magic ingredients: water, salt and sugar. Both Tasteless and revolting at the same time. His mind failed him. It wasn't the first time.

Kurt glanced around, searching for his phone. He had developed the habit of reminding everyone to text him now and then. _"Hey Rachel, don't forget to text me the name of the song later" …"Will do, Tina, but just in case send me a message"… "Sure, Mercedes, text me the details of that scarf, I'll look it up later"_ He'd made sure to throw it casually in his sentences so he wouldn't seem needy, desperate or suspicious.

But then there was Blaine. He couldn't ignore the beating he'd feel in his stomach each time Blaine got on his car to drive home. He couldn't help his voice breaking every time he reminded him to send him a message, it doesn't even have to contain a text, he'd insist, as soon as he got home. What if he lost Blaine? What if he forgot to call him? What would be left of him, then? Shit, he was so pathetic.

He fetched it from under his notes, heartbeat stopping and continuing double speed as he looked at the single message it was displayed on the screen. The message that was sent less than a minute ago, its buzzing sound no doubt rose him up from his sleep.

"_I'm thinking about it again… - Dave"_

Thoughts rushed to his head. He'd contemplated putting Dave in his blocked numbers, so he wouldn't get an alert when he texted him. _Stupid, why would you even think that?_ Dave needed him. How dare he could give up on him? Not after failing him the first time. How bad this time would be? Would Dave hang up on him and turn his phone off again? Please, no.

He banged his head against the desk once. The action stopped surprising him long ago. He had the sudden image of a flickering flashlight, dying away, that you'd hit against a hard surface for a few more moments of light. He couldn't afford to get lost in thoughts now. With his head cleared up, he fell into the procedure, the routine.

Kurt pressed the button to call, always preferring not to text, although texting never showed how distressed he himself was. It went straight to the voicemail.

"_Dave, please, pick up the phone. Just don't think about it. Distract yourself. Call me if you need to talk." _

Silence followed, almost making Kurt hope that he'd succeed. But then a buzz, followed by another, brought him back from his supposed victory.

"_I wish I'd waited longer that day I decided to hang myself. Or just followed my original plan and did it at school."_

"_I can't go on like this, Kurt. No one would miss me now. I'm crying in my room and no one has even noticed. I wish I'd died a month ago."_

Kurt felt cold chill spreading through him. His fingers shook as he typed the next text.

_"You Safe?"_

The answer wouldn't come and Kurt could feel his throat closing up, his head spinning slightly. He felt like he'd throw up at any moment now. His nails began to dig painfully in his skin, circling the surface in a crazy pattern.

_"I'm safe. You don't have to feel worried for me, Kurt. I'm too much of a coward to try it again"_

Kurt exhaled loudly. The sentence never failed to bring a brief wave of relief Kurt clung to.

_"Are you alone?"_

The silence in his room chilled him to his core, he turned the volume up.

_"No, mom is here. She's arguing with dad downstairs."_

_"I'd be devastated if you'd died. And I'm sure a lot of others would too."_

_"Really?"_

_"Of course. Just stay strong, Dave."_

"_I don't want to stay strong. I just want to feel normal again."_

_Me too_, Kurt thought to himself. _Let's just kill ourselves together and get this all over… what's the use of continuing this life anyway?_ He ignored the annoying voice in his head and typed.

"_It will get better. You've got to believe it. Someone will love you no matter your flaws, because of your flaws even. You're fabulous; the world just can't see it now, but it will."_

"_You're right. I feel so much better now."_

Was he lying? Or did he really help?

"_I'm glad."_

"_Thank you, Goodnight."_

"_Goodnight."_

Kurt threw his phone in the bed, it landed on the floor, but he couldn't care less. He resisted sliding down the floor as well. He refused to let himself think. Today, it wasn't that bad. But it made him feel drained just like any other day.

He crawled up the stairs, forcing his feet to move despite their protest, dragging himself to the kitchen, contemplating his next move. He had to be away from his room, from his mind, at least for a while.

He filled a glass with water and took a gulp. He held back a gag and began sipping some more, slowly.

On his way back, he looked at the closed doors frantically.

He heard the muffled voices of a video game behind Finn's door. He leaned his head against the door and weighted his options. Clueless Finn was probably his safest choice if he just wanted to spend some time away from himself. But Kurt had soon found out, the chances that Finn would say something innocent that would drive him over his limit were pretty high.

He stood in front of the other door, feeling like a kid again. How he wished he could go to his dad and just lose it… became a blubbering mess while Burt held him, because he couldn't feel like he was able to hold himself again.

Or he could just go and lie on the floor of his parents' bedroom, right under Burt's side. The thought brought back a string of memories. After his mother had passed away, he couldn't make himself move to her side and sleep in the same bed as his fathers' so he settled on the floor, letting the steady rhythm of Burt's breathing calm down his own. His dad had become used to checking the floor before getting off the bed, after stepping on his sleeping son in more than one occasion. Little Kurt claimed to never know how he'd end up there, he blamed sleep walking sometimes. Burt's eyes would become glassy and he'd try to subtly clue his son in that he could ask for his help. He should accept the hugs, even though they were somehow hesitant and awkward, not the soft and gentle ones he was missing. It wasn't until one time that Burt had slid beside him on the floor and held him in his arms after he crawled in the bedroom that it stopped feeling like it was the end of the world and got a little better.

He could just quietly wake Carole up and think of an excuse to … fuck, no, what's he thinking? He could get through the night without creeping his family out.

He made his way to his own room. It was a school night. Tomorrow, well today, would be hell. If only he could catch another hour or two of sleep.

He almost didn't realize where he was going until he felt a sharp pain on his wrist. What the..?

He was sitting on the bathroom floor, the scissor held in his hand, tracing the lines of his vein. Writing words. Tonight he pushed the scissor deeper than he'd used to. The irritated skin not healing immediately, but leaving a thin line of scratch shaped line.

Just do it, you're really close. _I wonder what new movie I have on my laptop._

That blade won't do shit._ What's that song playing? Is it from the scene when Satine finds out about her illness? How did the next verse go? Think, Kurt, think._

Just pick a shard of glass, or a real razor. _Orange shouldn't be in trend anymore. _

He knew if he dropped his scissor far enough, he wouldn't have the energy to pick it up again. But he couldn't let go.

I'm not technically harming myself now, am I?_ Fuck you, Kurt Hummel, who cares what the technicalities are? You're scaring the fuck out of yourself. Just get up and leave the bathroom._

He got up from the floor, wobbling to his bed. Turning off the music and lights. He stared at the darkness, silence offering him the soft blanket that couldn't calm him anymore.

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A/N: I'm sure you're aware of the fact how much reviews are appreciated.

Also a shout out to each one of you who'd read this story and follow/favorite it. And my sincere thanks to all those who reviewed. You are brilliant, guys.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: So if I have any more thoughts on this verse I'd probably continue it in a separate story and leave this poor finished one alone.

Let me tell you something fun about this fic. Some of the Kurt and Klaine dialogues are so deeply rooted in me that when I'm writing them I actually believe they're my own original idea. One example of this case is last chapter's "it stopped feeling like it was the end of the world" which was actually said in "Grilled Cheesus" episode and I had no clue! Another one which I used twice here is "_I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." _that I can't figure out where in the canon Klaine interaction had been used because it's too good to come from my own imagination! Any ideas?

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Disclaimer: I used to believe that the only glee-related thing I own is my imagination, but now even my imagination seems to have a mind of its own and probably owns me :)

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Warning: na non-con scene. Depressing thoughts. General trigger warning.

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Kurt knew he was dreaming again. The clues to this were included but not limited to the fact that he couldn't feel the burden of his anxiety choking him. He was also wearing the pants that he knew for a fact wouldn't fit him anymore and had sold for a good profit online. Blaine was there in his dream, in Kurt's old house, in his old bed in the basement and they were kissing. Blaine was wearing socks, _another clue that I'm dreaming_, thought Kurt to himself but smiled as he felt the lips in a very un-dreamlike way tracing his cheekbone. Hands roamed over his ribs, tickling slightly. Blaine would pull up now and then to place an innocent but firm kiss on his mouth before resuming his exploring once more.

He missed having these dreams, which embarrassingly started before they were even officially dating. Usually they were made up of gentle touches and chaste kissing. He closed his eyes and soaked up the touches that soothed him, healing his emotionally wounded state in a way that he didn't believe it was possible. He felt happiness and bliss filling him. So that was why he was greatly disappointed and shocked that he felt the bed squeak and Blaine's weight lifted from it. Why is Blaine leaving? It was _his_ dream after all. He opened his eyes to find out that Blaine wasn't on top of him anymore; in fact he was nowhere to be seen.

Then he heard some sniffles coming from other side of bed and sat up. His jaw fell open in shock. It was Karofsky there, wearing a Dalton pajama of all things and crying. All of a sudden Kurt was nervous. Dave noticed Kurt's stare and hiccupped, revealing the cell phone in his hands "_This_ is not helping".

Kurt felt all the horror coming back, blocking his throat. Dave continued to look at him, shaking the phone accusingly at him "It's all your fault, you know"

Kurt opened his mouth to protest but he was unable to make a sound. Dave inched closer to him and repeated "This is not helping", and then softly, "I want more…"

Kurt wanted to ask him what the hell was he talking about but dream-Kurt was moving towards Dave. Kurt felt like he had no control over his body, almost like he was watching from afar. He could feel the resigned look on his own face and he felt tired, just so damn tired. He leaned over and kissed Dave's lips. He felt a dam break inside him and soon he was wordlessly screaming at himself to stop, but was instead forced to watch and feel each kiss. Each time he was opening his mouth to scream, dream-Kurt would push his head forward to meet Karofsky's eager lips.

He broke off the kiss for a moment looking frantically around, searching for a way out. That was when his eyes caught the sight of someone who should be the one he was sharing this dream with, someone who should now be looking at him with hatred, coldness and judgment.

But he didn't see any of those in Blaine's eyes. His eyes were distant, because, Kurt found out in absolute terror, he was dead. He was lying in a large pool of blood, his head was smashed in, his body broken and he couldn't even go there and hold him in his arms because Karofsky was lying atop of him, crushing him in a semi-embrace.

He turned his eyes at Karofsky, and Dave's eyes turned pleading "I want you, Kurt, I need you." And he was guiding Kurt's hand getting dangerously close to his …. Oh, please no.

And dream-Kurt was actually letting him.

No, No , No, Not anymore, I want out, Get me out. Kurt was half-sobbing and somehow he was relieved to find out, broke free of the dream and woke up, sweating like a madman and whispering something over and over again. It was some time later that he realized he'd been calling out for his mother, "Mommy", all this time. The realization brought back another line of memories and flashbacks that were just too much. He kneeled on the bed, his forehead touching the mattress as actual physical pain circulated in his body. When pain became bearable enough to uncurl himself, he forced his feet to take him to the bathroom.

He knew that in his current state he would rip his veins apart without any second thought. There was still a bit of self-preservation in him to avoid doing that. So he went straight to the shower. He turned the temperature to the hottest degree that was possible and leaned his head against the wall letting the water run over him for about half an hour. The action seemed oddly familiar to him. Only when he started drying off he remembered why. He did the exact same thing when Karofsky had kissed him in the locker room.

He popped three painkillers in his mouth and swallowed them without water, afraid that getting water in his system would make him throw up and waste the precious pills.

He was too tired to argue with himself about the consequence of his actions. He knew that his body would get used to the dosage soon enough and would stab him in the back if he continued taking pills. Already he had gone from half a pill to three to actually feel the blessed numbness.

* * *

Lunch period, Hell on Earth. If McKinley was hell, which Kurt believed to be true, then cafeteria had to be that volcano thingies that the Sunday school teacher used to explain to scare him into being a good boy. Normally it smelled of the mixture of foods it was served and he could smell the odor even in the hallways since morning, which made him even more agitated.

They had pasta today, and it was driving Kurt insane. The noodles were all tangled up in each other and when he tried to separate them with his fork, more sauce smeared on it, it was a chaos. Every time he lifted his fork to eat it, he'd see all those knots in them and the mushroom smell would hit him and he'd put it down, no doubt looking like an idiot the whole time. He could actually feel Blaine's gaze on him as he stood up and muttered.

"I can't eat this shit, it's so messy."

Stupid piece of food, it didn't even land like he wanted it to. It just kind of dumped uselessly on top of other garbage, the contents still half visible. It was so frustrating.

Blaine stopped him on his way out, and reminded him that he would be coming to Blaine's house after school. _It's important_ he'd said and Kurt just nodded. After waiting frantically in front of Blaine's locker to see if Blaine was actually healthy, _and alive_, Kurt shuddered at the memory of the dream, the desire to see the boy faded. He saw, however, how Blaine's eyes lit up and his face broke into a huge grin when he saw him standing in front of his locker, but Kurt just ducked his head and left without saying nor doing anything further than a muttered "Hi".

What kind of boyfriend was he now? Dreaming of kissing another boy, neglecting Blaine for far too long and just now, he wouldn't, couldn't look at him.

Some days ago in his madness he'd accidentally revealed his phone number to Sebastian, the evil weasel, and had to face one or two texts of cocky blabbers of the boy every now and then. He immediately deleted those texts. There were nothing special, just a few snarks thrown randomly, but one look at them would question why Blaine was still with him? Perfect, warm and kind Blaine that had to force his own boyfriend to meet him after school. To talk to him. To look at him.

* * *

He was ringing Blaine's doorbell when Karofsky messaged him. He wanted to meet up this week. Kurt tried to remember when his free periods were but concentrating was so hard these days.

Blaine called out to him.

_"__Come on, Kurt. You wouldn't talk to me. At least talk to Ms. Pillsbury. She'll know what to do. You know the last time I talked to her…"_

Didn't Blaine see it? Even if it was separation anxiety he couldn't get help. He was too stuck. Also Ms. Pillsbury wore the most annoying bows ever made that were not only a fashion suicide, but so crooked that Kurt just wanted to rip it off and iron it again and again.

"_Not now, I don't have time for that."_ He mumbled distractedly, typing out a text suggesting meeting up in the weekend instead.

Blaine wouldn't back off though.

"_Or your dad, or Carole. Just do something. You're scaring me, Kurt."_

_I'm scaring me too_, Kurt wanted to say but he just replied an automatic _"__I'm perfectly fine." _

_Why wasn't the damn boy answering? Dave wasn't mad that he couldn't make it in the week now, was he?_

Blaine's shout made him almost drop his phone and look up, startled.

"_No, you're not. Kurt, this isn't healthy" _

_His shocked face seemed to make Blaine angrier._

"_Now he's listening. Do I have to shout all the time to get your attention?" _

Blaine paced the room, which was making Kurt's head spin, and he was still shouting.

_"All you do is type away in your phone. What do you have in there that's more important than me, huh?"_

His phone was suddenly snatched away from his hands.

_No, No, NO._

He wanted to shout. He couldn't understand the part of him that was feeling happy, almost relieved. There was absolutely nothing happy about that moment. His emotions were a jumble of mess.

"_Kurt?"_

_He's going to find out. He's going to leave me._

Cold, everything was just so cold. He could actually feel his brain freezing.

"_Kurt, honey, you alright?"_

He couldn't lose Blaine. He knew that the boy would have to leave him sooner rather than later. That maybe all this avoiding he did in the past week was just another step to make everything easier for Blaine. But, right now, when he was so close to actually accomplishing it, he was chickening out. _Stupid self-centered brat,_ he thought to himself disgustedly.

His words mashed into each other, making a string of words that were out without him having any control over it.

"_I'm so sorry Blaine. I'll be better. I'll get better. Please don't leave me."_

This was so bad. It was a true disaster. There were all lies. He couldn't get better. But it seemed to calm Blaine down and hugged him while he was battling the tears. He was too tired to cry. And he didn't want to waste any more tears on himself.

Kurt tried to stay awake, he really did. He didn't want to have another nightmare, but it was just so hard to think when Blaine was tunelessly humming in his ear and rocking him like a baby. _I don't deserve his admiration,_ was the last thought that went through his mind before he succumbed to sleep.

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A/N: a wise (wo)man once said that people should get Kurt away from me. Please tell me to stop! Take my writing privileges away from me. I'm possessed and therefore unfit to continue this. In less than a day I'm going to see the new season 5 episode and _this_ is what I come up with? What's wrong with me? I may actually not watch glee today because of this ill-timed writing.

I'm going to crawl into a hole and just sit very very silently, thinking over all the mean things I've done to Kurt today, wallowing in misery.


	10. The end (aka going back to the start)

A/N: I'm thinking of continuing the Unanswered Goodbyes 'verse all through the third season, showing Kurt's progress to depression and depending on how evil my mind will become, coming back from or going deeper into it. So the name of the fic is _Dreams Undreamt_ and you can find it listed on my profile. It would mean a world to me if you continue your support there.

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Warnings for this chapter: Suicide attempt mention.

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While the McKinley High kids seemed to just ignore the fact that one of their own had wanted to take his own life about a week ago, Kurt believed that he was still in shock.

He couldn't concentrate much in his classes. Not that it was something he did before; the lessons were too easy to capture his attention. He could pass any of it in his sleep. But the daydreaming was approaching an alarming degree.

Oh well, that's what happens when you only have few months of high school left.

Poor Blaine, he thought. Two years of Dalton had prepared him to just graduate already and he had to wait another year of boring subjects. Many Calculus sessions, which sadly was one of the classes they were apart from each other in it, had been spent texting or doodling. Kurt had tried to cheer him up that now they get more time to hang out with each other. It was an extremely unattractive and sadly often occurrence in his time at Dalton that he'd fall asleep in the middle of a movie or a date because he'd spent the whole day studying. That small fact that they were together never failed to light up Blaine's face. He'd grab his hand and although people weren't as supportive as Dalton, it was easy to pretend they were in an empty hallway and just share loving glances along the way.

He smiled at the lunch ladies as they filled his plate with some salad and today's meal, which appeared to be stew of some sort. Anyone with the heart, and nose, to stand that much time near the food that revolting deserved an award, but sadly a smile and a muttered "thank you" would have to do for now.

No, he was distracted because in Calculus, apart from the usual cute text Blaine sent him, there was one more text. It was a simple "Starting therapy today. School sucks…- Dave" but somehow he couldn't help but reread it until his teacher threatened to take away his phone.

He'd invited Blaine to hang out that evening. Lately the boy seemed in his own shell, sad even, and he'd been extra clingy, always making up an excuse to stay a few more minutes or hold onto him longer. It was heading to a worrying pattern and Kurt was determined to find out what was happening with his boyfriend.

Blaine followed him in his car to Kurt's home and was beside him in a matter of minutes, his hand circled around his waist as Kurt was unlocking the door. They hanged around in Kurt's room, enjoying some moments of privacy, before Burt would go out of his way to step in front of his room, nagging about keeping the door open or worse, Finn stomping around the house like an unchained animal.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Kurt asked Blaine. Blaine nodded excitedly. They both knew that watching a movie was just an excuse to cuddle comfortably and maybe steal a few kisses and not innocent touches when they would get bored of the plot. So that was why they had gathered an exclusive set of movies they could watch that was watched too many times to miss anything important when they became absorbed in each other, but still not so boring that would ruin the mood and make them fall asleep. So, with trial and error they'd gathered quite a collection.

"How about Rent?" Kurt showed the DVD hopefully while Blaine was sitting across from him, with Moulin Rouge DVD in his hand.

"Come on, Blaine. As much as "Come What May" is romantic to watch, we both know that listening to Satine coughing would be beyond disturbing not to mention all the blood is a huge turn-off, and finally I become a hell of an emotional mess in the last scene."

"Fine, but next time I'm choosing." Blaine agreed a small pout on his mouth that Kurt kissed away as the movie started.

There was nothing unusual during the first act. They laughed and sang along, Kurt soloing the "Today for you" and itching to stand up and dance, but the comfortable feeling of having Blaine gathered in his arms, counting his soft breaths was enough for him to remain just where he was.

However, during the second act, he could feel Blaine pull further from him and turn his face away.

_Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.  
The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.  
The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you._

He was almost sure that the boy was crying as the song was coming to close. The bed was shaking a bit and he could hear silent sniffles.

_Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.  
The mind churns  
The heart yearns_

_The tears dry, without you. Life goes on, but I'm gone.  
Cause I die, without you.  
Without you._

Kurt touched his shoulder gently. "Blaine?"

He paused the movie when the boy didn't make a move to show that he'd heard him. Finally, Blaine turned around and Kurt had mere seconds to react before Blaine lunged himself into his arms, no longer containing the sobs that was escaping freely now. Kurt rocked him back and forth gently, shushing him and rubbing his back as his mind scrambled into useless thoughts. Blaine wasn't upset over the scene, he couldn't be, he rarely cried like that, but it seemed that it triggered something in the boy that made him break down. But what?

"I'm so scared, Kurt." He whispered brokenly.

"What are you scared of?" Kurt asked, baffled. What could've happened to him?

"Losing you… finding you dead, just like…" and he lost it again.

"I know that you had a shitty junior year, but you weren't that bad, were you? You wouldn't have thought of killing yourself?"

Blaine was just so heartbroken and sad, and to think that it was because he was worried about him.

"Did you ever think about it, Kurt?"

So not everyone was over Karofsky's suicide, it seemed. Of course, why didn't it even occur to Kurt to watch out for his boyfriend? And to think that he was planning to join him visiting Dave in the hospital.

There was another round of sobbing, this time Kurt shed a few tears himself and couldn't help whispering into the boy's ears "I'm right here Blaine, I'm not going anywhere". And then he began assuring him that he wasn't going to pull anything like what Karofsky did, and each time he'd kiss him, as if sealing that promise.

Blaine looked noticeably better after that, but it was almost time to go. Kurt was glad Blaine had opened up to him and told him about his concerns. He was also glad that he'd thought of meeting after school today.

"See you at school tomorrow?"

"See you. I love you."

"Love you too."

And once again they were glued back together, by the simple words that never lost its meaning despite the familiarity. He felt a pang in his chest as Blaine pulled back from the kiss, waved him goodbye and went to unlock his car, driving away.

Why hadn't he ever felt the need to end things?

He guessed that maybe depression or suicide was never an option for him. He wasn't going to give himself time to even think about it. The idiots who mocked him and treated him like a piece of shit weren't worth the time of his day. He'd brush it off. Although he'd be a fool if he wouldn't admit that some days were particularly hard, like the day he was elected as the prom queen, but he managed. He was fine, really. And he had Blaine and his father, a new family and a group of friends in glee club that more than made up for some ignorant haters.

Kurt Hummel didn't get depressed or suicidal.

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A/N: Thank you all for the support on my first real multi-chapter. This story would be nowhere, I'm repeating, nowhere, without you lot.

This is the final chapter. But I'm hoping to hear from you soon in Dreams Undreamt.

Lol (lots of love),

~Anne


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